How Do We React When A Vile Person Dies?
These two men, two men that I despise and consider to be despicable human beings, are dead, or on death's doorstep...How am I supposed to feel?
Around four in the morning last night…or I guess technically this morning…I woke up for whatever reason. This is nothing new for me. At least once a week, I will have my sleep interrupted for some mysterious reason. Because it’s something I’m unfortunately used to, I have a routine that I follow. First, I’ll simply roll over and try to fall back asleep. If, after a bit, that doesn’t work, I’ll go on YouTube and find a video from one of my favorite history channels to listen to as I fall asleep (shoutout to Extra History!). I find that it helps to quiet my mind, give me something to focus on and direct my attention towards, aside from my own racing thoughts (let’s hear it for ADHD!!). Most nights, this works and I’m back to dreamland within 10-15 minutes, but last night was different. After failing to fall asleep on my own, I did what I usually do, and opened my YouTube app. Because of the lovely algorithm, the videos I’m looking for are usually not at the top of my recommended feed, so I have to go searching for them. Most nights, it’s no problem; the video at the top of my feed is some benign video that doesn’t catch my attention, and I can go on searching for my channel.
But like I said, last night…last night was different. When I open my YouTube app, I’m not met with some benign video…No…I’m met with video after video announcing something that gets my brain racing (the exact opposite of what I want)…I’m met with the news that Lindsey Graham, Senator from South Carolina, is dead.
Quite the news to be greeted with at 4 in the morning…isn’t it?
First Mitch McConnell (tho he hasn’t been declared dead), and now Lindsey Graham. Two vile men who have done more to prop Trump up and erode the foundations of our democracy than practically any other politician in my lifetime. Powerhungry biggots, only interested in amassing and maintaining power and using that power to enrich themselves and their good-ol boys club. These two men are why we have Trump 2.0 — arguably, McConnell more than Graham.
Let us not forget that Graham ran against Trump in 2016 and, for lack of a better word, despised the man. Hell, he didn’t even vote for Trump in the 2016 election, quipping, “I think Donald Trump is going to places where very few people have gone and I'm not going with him.” But the moment Trump won, the moment it became clear that Trump was the direction the Republican Party train was headed…He jumped on board. He kissed the ring. Instead of standing by his convictions, instead of standing up to a person he found disgusting, he kowtowed. Why? For power, of course. He read the winds, and he didn’t want to be left behind. He went from one of Trump’s biggest detractors to one of his biggest supporters and defenders (and the occasional Trump punching bag). He was like the real-life version of the two-button meme. He was faced with two choices: stand by his convictions or jump on the Trump Train. Except, unlike the meme, there was no sweat on his brow; there was no difficult choice. He slammed his hand down on the Trump Train button and, well, the rest is history.
McConnell, well, he’s a whole other bag of worms. While Graham helped out Trump by giving him credibility and being an attack dog, McConnell did all that (albeit a sleeper, less boisterous attack dog), all while using his position as Senate Majority/Minority leader to erode the foundations of our democracy. Let us not forget that he, too, originally despised Trump, but as soon as he felt the winds shifting, he jumped on the Trump Train. Now, I could mention the judges or the filibuster…but the most egregious action he took came at the end of Trump 1.0. After Trump sacked a violent mob on the Capitol Building, his literal workplace, and the House had impeached him in a bipartisan vote, he refused to convict despite knowing that what Trump did was wrong. His acquittal gave cover for other Senators to acquit. If he had stood up and said, " Enough is enough,” and voted to convict, I am all but certain we would not be in Trump 2.0.
Now…these two men, two men that I despise and consider to be despicable human beings, are dead, or on death's doorstep.
How am I supposed to feel?
As a pacifist and someone who believes human life to be beautiful…It saddens me anytime someone dies.
As an “empath,” my heart breaks for the recently deceased family and friends. For the pain they are going through at losing a loved one. I have been through that pain, and it is not an easy one.
But, on the flip side…
I am glad these two people can no longer cause harm. I’m glad these two people can no longer use their positions of power to enrich themselves and their buddies while leaving average Americans to suffer on the side of the road. I’m glad that Trump has one less attack dog in Lindsey Graham. I’m glad that Mitch McConnell no longer has a say in what laws are passed, or heard, or debated. I’m glad that these two men, men with a long-forgotten moral compass, are no longer some of the most powerful men in the world.
And yeah, there’s a part of me — a part I’m not exactly proud of — that is glad these men are finally getting the comeuppance for all the harm they have caused over their decades in politics. We all have these parts; there is no good without the bad, no Yin without the Yang (and not to get too philosophical), but the important part is finding the balance and not letting the part you’re not proud of become a part you are proud of.
Whew…got deep there for a second…
Back to the question at hand: How do I feel about the death (or almost at death) of these two men?
Well, I feel it in two different ways:
On the one hand, I am sad that a person has died, especially in the sudden and unexpected way Lindsey Graham died. And for Mitch McConnell, while everything surrounding his health is shrouded in mystery, it would appear that he is being kept on life support, not being allowed to die. That makes me sad…I don’t know what it’s like to die or be in the process of dying, but I cannot imagine being kept alive just to be kept alive. Being kept alive by machines and drugs. Wanting to die, but being unable to…that’s no way to live — if you can even call it “living.”1 I’m sad for the families and the friends who have lost a loved one. I’m sad for the pain they are going through.
But, on the other hand, I’m glad they can no longer cause harm. I’m glad that their reign has finally come to an end. I am glad I no longer have to hear: “Did you see what idiotic thingMitch McConnell/Lindsey Graham did?” I’m glad I don’t have to think about them anymore. And I’m glad that the people who those two men seriously hurt, seriously affected, the people whose lives they quite literally ruined as a result of their choices, can now sleep easily.
So, if you ask me: “Are you happy that Mitch McConnell/Lindsey Graham are dead?” I’ll tell you, no, I’m never happy when anyone dies. But I am happy that they can no longer cause any harm.
So, if you are currently celebrating the deaths of these two men…ask yourself, why? Are you celebrating simply because they are dead, or are you celebrating because they can no longer do any harm?
And if it is the first answer. I would encourage you to ask yourself…why?
Remember: Memento Mori — remember that you must die. So live your life in a way that when someone is asked if they are sad you died, there is no ‘but’ in their answer.
Well, actually, I do know what it’s like. I’ve never been on life support, but I have been suscidial, being kept alive by drugs and my own fear of ending it all. For a long time, I was ‘living,’ but I wasn’t really living. I was ‘here,’ but I wasn’t present. I can tell you, that’s no way to live. At least I had free movement, and the occasional moment of being ‘here.’ I cannot imagine what it would be like, confined to a bed, non-stop beeping, a machine making me breathe. That sounds even less like living than what I’ve experienced.